Keeping on Task

My Journey has taught me so far...

How to scrape every penny out of every crevice in my life, and simultaneously be as generous as I can possibly be. As I embarked on this journey, I planned out everything pretty well, and had enough money saved up to make it happen, for the most part. I knew there were things I hadn't yet bought, like lumber, which I would need to figure out a way to get. I think there are so many people out there that are afraid to talk about money. Well, I am not one of them. This whole journey has been one of hard work, self discovery, and budgeting and magnetism. I can not tell you the number of times I have had not one dollar available to spend and somehow everything worked out for myself and my kids. Granted, I will be bringing my parents gifts of food for the next year + to make up for all the food we have eaten while we have been living here, only a month or two, but still! And my kids go to a private school, which I am behind on paying for (working on it), and I am building a house without being in debt... its magic, I swear! Every spare dollar I get, I go buy a 2x6 or a 4x4 with... Ha! I have used a lot of reclaimed lumber, and everything I have purchased for my house it used, for the most part. Used windows, all of them! Used sinks, used flooring, used tile, used doors, used wiring and eventually switches and light fixtures and used material from traveling to tile the bathroom. Im going to make my own toilet!!
One of the coolest things that happened was in the first few weeks of this journey, when I found a trailer distributor, and the trailer I wanted. I made a down payment, knowing that I would need to come up with like $6000 on the fly in like 6 weeks time. I made the deposit having no idea how I would make the rest of the money. And, when they called and said the trailer was ready for pick up, I had to have the rest! Well, somehow, I scraped up every penny I needed, just in the knick of time. I even succeeded with an ex demanding money from me just to be mean, and I paid it to him, just to be nice.
I have learned so much about money from this experience, and the power of positive thinking. I have noticed when I focus on the lack of money that I have, I end up having no money. But, when I focus on having money and just operate like its there (not over spending) but just in my mind, knowing it is there, it appears, out of the most unusual places, and from some very usual places. Its like magic, or like the powers of the universe that govern us all.
Through this time,  I have also given a business away. I was really hoping to make some money off of this business I had poured my heart into for the last two years, sending out every order and preparing all of the products, with very little help from my business partner. I single handedly sent out in one month $3000 worth of orders (a lot for a small business) and simultaneously cut over 300 lavender bouquets and hung them all up to dry in my living room, while taking care of two kids by myself and working full time at another job. But, when push came to shove and my business partner and I were trying to go our separate ways, it resulted in me handing over the business for no profit, not even the money I put in. I am a generous person, I guess. Money is a trivial thing in this life, although it can make things much easier in some ways.
What I am getting at is where my heart and soul lie. I am determined to live a better life. One free of the greedy people I have once consumed my life with. If it takes gifting a business to someone so I can be free of their destructive vibrations, than that is what I will do. If it takes humbling myself and living with my parents to get my goals accomplished, (we are having a great time btw) I will do that too. If it takes giving up all forms of shopping, eating out, enjoying extra activities, I will do that to. And I will be creative in entertaining my kids, in a free mode, which they have almost become accustomed to. There is no length I will not go to accomplish my dreams; of financial independence, of a simpler life, of love and compassion and care of those around me and those I encounter, of being free of the restraints others try to put on me. I choose to be wild and free for a reason, it is a setting in which I can be me. Fully. Unappoligetically. I am going to live my life for me. And, I am going to teach my children to do the same. Don't take the guilt that others try to put on you, because they are unhappy with their lot and want you to succeed less. Live life for you, and no one else. Dont apologize for who you are or what you want. Be brave. Do what you want. Care less about what everyone around you thinks. Listen to your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong.

Our House is a Very Very Very Fine House

These are all the people that made this wall raising party possible. This house is more or less a community effort, a family effort. This small community is my family. I am so lucky to have these people in my life, supporting me and my kids. My brother and sister and their families have helped so much, taking my kids to play and helping me load wood and lift stuff and give me the wood laying around their yards. LOL And my uncle lending me his nail gun and his knowledge of building and my great friends Matt and Jenna and their family being there for me in so many ways, letting me crash at their house whenever I don't feel like driving back to mine, and being awesome cool friends... This whole post is a run on sentence, so get over it. :) 

I need to acknowledge all the people who have helped me with this project, without them, it would be hard to imagine succeeding. And, who would I celebrate with if they weren't here for the journey? And, very special friends that prefer not to be mentioned or photographed, I must also thank, for so much help, and teaching, and demonstrating, and friendship, and breaks on the water when we have been building for days... Thank you! 

 

And these two little boys, thank you for trusting your Momma to know whats best for us. Thanks for your patience through transitions and your loving energy in this exciting journey we are on together. Us three against the world, sure love you boys!  

And, just look at my butt in these pants... A christmas gift from a special friend... not the butt, the pants. 

And, none of this would be possible without my sweet parents, who have let my boys and I camp out in their basement and eat their food while we build our little house. Thanks guys!!! :):)

 

Crazy Birthday faces...

Do I find it coincidental that on the eve of my thirtieth birthday I had the most intense dream about snakes? I woke up at 6 am from this dream, not terrified, but heavy with exhaustion from that dream. I was with my favorite family, my friend Jenna and her two girls and her husband, and who even knows where we were, but we were suddenly overcome by water, and snakes everywhere! We were each taking turns scooping the girls up from the snakes. I wasn't terrified tho, I was so brave! And, at one point a big giant one bit me... but without a second thought I bend down to my leg and sucked the venom out, and then blew thru the hole in my leg to make sure it was all out. 

Apparently snake dreams, on a positive note represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom.  It is indicative of self renewal and positive change. I count myself lucky to have such a dream as my last night as a 29 year old. :) Just last week, I had a dream that I had a baby, but it was asian... haha (my friend will think thats funny.) These kinds of dreams point to positive change as well.

Perhaps the one person I really care to hear from today, I know I won't ... because in getting on my right path, and saving my heart, I broke his. 

My boys and I are headed out of the Country for my birthday! Be back this evening. Hopefully we don't encounter any snakes there!