Sunday, April 3, 2016

The Field

Figuring out card #3

Preface: I get deep here. If you are going to begin reading this, commit to reading to the end. If you are around chaos, step away. Go outside. Ground yourself, literally sit on the ground if you need to, to get connected to source. If it is internal chaos, meditate for a few minutes before reading, please. What I share with you here is not light, and should only be read if you have an open heart. 

The birds are chirping loud today, and the grass smells like fresh cucumbers, its a new day, and my perspective on the world is renewed. I experienced a paradigm shift today. My transformation has made a sharp right turn and my clarity and view of things are clear as crystal, so clear that what I am looking through doesn’t even exist. One week ago last night, I shared some space with the most special girl friend I have ever had. She didn’t realize it, but she was an instrument, holding a field for me to heal myself before committing my life and the remainder of my existence on this earthly plain to the man that I resonate with in every way. Our complete harmony sends peaceful waves in every direction outwards. We have the kind of love you only dream about and hear of in fairy tales. My dear friend and I enjoyed a quick 15 minute tarot card reading session, in which I drew three cards. The first card is my blockage. The second is the way in which my blockage gets released. The third card is the result of the first two being resolved. We enjoyed a higher level of consciousness, the way we have become accustomed to when in each others presence. After my card reading was done she lead me downstairs where our other halves were kneeling on the floor together waiting. And I said yes to the invitation of companionship that was extended by the man I had been searching for for what seemed like centuries. We celebrated together, and laughed a lot. One week to the day we embarked on an adventure together, the four of us. Before our adventure the cards made another appearance. The gentlemen had their turn to feel what the universe had to tell them, and we all held a space for healing for each other. In the evening after our boating outing my lovely friend did some reiki on my companion. And throughout this day, I am continually thinking about what my cards meant for me, a week earlier. My first card was a storytelling card. This was my blockage. I have been writing, a lot. About my life. About my transformation. But, suddenly about a week or two ago, I stopped. I wasn’t sure I was going in the right direction with what I was writing. So, I stopped. My second card was medicine woman. What this meant I did not know. And, this was the way in which I was to clear my blockage, so it was imperative for me to figure it out. I set the intention when the cards turned up, that I was going to crack this code, and figure out how healing was related to my writing. As we returned home from our friends house last night, pretty late in the evening, we had a little time to ourselves during the evening routine, and I felt called to pick up one of the four books we kept on the nightstand in which we read from often. The one I pulled out we had not read from in several months. I opened it up at random and started to read. The specific part I read didn’t really resonate with either of us in the moment, and I read a little farther looking for what it was we were supposed to hear from this book at this time. We stayed up way too late, and because we were delirious with exhaustion, we over analyzed and over thought some words in the moment and were for the very first time, not in complete harmony with each other. Still filling the space with I love yous and apologies for misunderstandings we drifted off to sleep left with our own thoughts. After waking in the morning, we began our resolve, We started the journey back to the place of unconditional love and complete embrace that we had spent all of our previous time in, since meeting. I read him a love letter that I had been working on. We spoke of how we each felt and why we arrived at that place of feeling. We noticed patterns and let go of all expectation. As our conversation blossomed, so did our understanding of what we are meant to do here together. We have felt an underlying purpose since the second we laid eyes on each other. We have noticed the people around us starting to change. There is a pull taking place in our circles of friends, a change in the air. Some are realizing love, where before there was fear. Some are figuring out what they want. Others are facing their dark interiors with intentions of change and healing. There is something miraculous happening around us. We have been reading of healing with love. Love being the chief tool in the power and ability to heal oneself. Love can heal all wounds. And it makes sense to me that the purest most inspired choosing of love can create the quickest purest healing. If love can heal all wounds, that the strongest love can heal the deepest wounds. And allow me if you will to draw another conclusion for your understanding of wounds, that all wounds are connected a physically manifested appearance directly relative to a mental and or spiritual cavern. Spoken more simply, our physical pain relates to our emotional well being, always. Chew on that for a minute. We attract into our experience what we feel resonates with our emotions. If we feel that we have no control, we are attracting situations in which we have no control. To the most possible extreme emotionally and physically. When we are in the depths of despair in the way that we feel, our physical existence reflects that. Lacking a feeling of control for so long that it is sewn into the makeup of your DNA, it can possibly result in the most extreme of paralysis physically, if we succumb to those feelings. We have all felt this way, large or small, whether we have made the connection yet or not. But, if the focus is on what we have to be thankful for, that is what grows. When you find love so pure that thought of being without the person that makes you feel that way, if for only one second, makes you dread that second ever taking place. So, you devote your lives to each other. And you seek truth in what you were brought together to accomplish. You crack the code together, as a team. Bouncing ideas off each other like a sounding board, recalling experiences that come into your mind, and sentences you read and feelings you felt and people who effected you until you reach a peak of enlightenment because it is all out of love. Unconditional love. And love surrounds you every moment, so strong that those around you are pulled towards change because you are offering them a safe place to heal. And the sentence that you read in the book last night comes to you again. It is the healer that is sick. The healer that is sick. Think on that for a moment. Usually the healer heals the sick, or so I have understood it in the past. “Ultimately, remember that the healer is the one who was sick, and the practitioner is only holding a field to allow the healer to accelerate their own healing process.” Jesus didn’t heal the sick, he created a field of love for those around him to heal themselves. He held a field, and those who were sick made the choice to heal, and through his love, they found their way. Love can heal all wounds. Love. Not fear. Choose love. Be love. Be it all on your own. Then, when you find someone you are in complete harmony with, that you can’t imagine spending a second of this life without, love each other, unconditionally. Without expectation. And together create a field of healing for one another. And then bring your love out into the world so that others can feel it. Create that field for others to choose their healing. It is time. It is time for us all to stop looking outside of ourselves for the solutions to our problems. The answers are all within you. Surround yourselves with love, and then choose to heal yourselves. There are healers that walk among us, but with a deeper understanding, you can know that we are all healers. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and become a unified blended being, seeing all. And now, I can write. And the third card will remain a mystery to you for now, because that is not part of this story. Surround yourselves with love. Be love. See love, and it will quickly appear all around you. If you have arrived there, be the field for those around you. Just be, and love, no more action is needed. As you finish reading this, check in with yourself.  Be gentle with the areas in which you need to grow, but acknowledge them. Set an intention for healing, and surround yourselves with love. 

Just a little Ketchup 

Hello my readers, I know it has been a little while, I have been writing, just not here. It occurred to me it was time to check in again and update you all. I have been working diligently on my tiny home, every single day, unless I am working, and some days I even bring my work with me. So many things have been happening in my life, it is hard to grasp at times. I’ll start with an update on the house, and move forward from there. The siding has been going on a little slow. I am great at math, and there is a lot of measuring and math involved with the siding, as well as a lot of sheer strength required. I have been stubborn, working on this house all on my own. My folks gave me a deadline, which I appreciate, it puts things in perspective and tells me that this time of my life is nearly over, and to soak up this experience while I am having it. I go out to the shop every day, after dropping my kids off across town. I open the shop door, turn the music on and inventory where I am and what comes next. I have stayed sane on the project only looking ahead enough to what I can handle. If I look to far ahead and get overwhelmed, I back up to where I am comfortable. It all flows that way, it all happens naturally. Because I was informed of this new deadline, again, which I am happy about, I reached out to my family and asked for some help. My sister has been diligent in coming out to help me often, her help is so appreciated. I also talked my older brother into coming out and helping me with the siding. Both of my siblings are fantastic at building things. We have all learned well. We are all hard workers. So, having there help is like having another me around. It is amazing. My brother did all of the measuring that day, and I did the cutting and screwing, and it was nice to have another hand with those really heavy boards. In the last few days I have finished one whole side and put trim up around every window. It feels completed, well almost… finishing touches… BUT, it feels complete and peaceful to look at and move right along. I haven’t dwelled too long in looking at it, just on to the next. I do need to now finish the siding on the other side and one end. I did put in some insulation yesterday which was a really great feeling. Before buttoning up under the candeleaver, I needed to insulate and sandwich with siding. It was a great feeling completing that part, and again, moving along to the next. Once the outside is done, I will move inside and start to finish that. I have two months, from today. April fools day. And, it is completely doable. I have started to downsize one more time, third time is the charm. I still have too much stuff. It feels amazing every time I do it. 
I have been writing a lot. About my life. About this journey. My journey has been a beautiful learning experience. It has been so healing to look back and see the lessons. To thank the universe for the people in my life, whether they are still in my life or not. I have been so extremely lucky to have crossed paths with so many beautiful people. I am blessed beyond words. And also, to realize again and again how beautiful the people around me are that have surrounded me my whole life. This home is not just built by me, or by the people who have come to help, or who have made my life easier throughout this whole process by one small act of kindness after another… it is a home built by community, by love. Pure love, that comes with no expectation can make flowers blossom where there was maybe only dirt. Love those around you. Give thanks for what you have, instead of what you don’t. Listen to the little people, and love them, because they are our future. Teach them by example, they watch all you do, and all you say, and they feel all you feel.