I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!

Hiatus complete. Married, check. Happy, double check. Kids remain top priority, check. Regained momentum on tiny home project, 5/8th check. Passion for growth and continual learning, BIG ASS CHECK.

Since April, I have accomplished so much, it would be ridiculous to try and summarize. I feel like my growth as a person has exponentially rocketed forward, and it is now my main "job." Law of attraction on steroids would be an understatement. We are bordering on destiny here people. Too much information? Perhaps. But, that's okay. Truth above all else. When there is truth, there can be love.

Why do I preface this post so? It is important to know how we got here. My computer is resting on my sleeping dog nestled between my legs in the spare bed in the beautiful home I live in with my husband and two boys. Groom, my blood hound/mastiff rescue, who came to us out camping by the coast this summer, is a prime example of the beauty that is my life now. He is the most loyal dog I can possibly imagine. We spent all day together, riding to drop the kids off at school, running some errands, running on the beach, taking a nap ... and it is so easy to love him unconditionally, because he isn't complicated. I know what he needs. Food, water, love, exercise, car rides, opportunities to lean on trees/ bushes/ fire hydrants and constant companionship. And he has also come to know what I need. In short, to be leaned on with all 100 pounds of his body weight, snuggled, raced out of the car and other random idiosyncrasies. Why is loving a human so much more complicated?

It has been 2100 years now we have been in the Picean Era, one where religion and war were predominant, and men were in so many ways "more" than woman, frankly put. Now, as we transition into the age of Aquarian, the woman start to come out of the woodworks. Spirituality, and inner growth become more popular than religion, and there is more acceptance and love flowing around. The sun starts to shine again and people feel empowered, and start to align with hope. I have noticed many woman around me begin to realize their power, their own strengths and abilities. We are all changing and evolving, wanting more than to stay at home raising our children, cooking dinner, cleaning, tending the garden, or simply working those jobs we are over qualified for on account of one commitment or another.

Love becomes more important than ever. Most notably loving ones self. The best judge of self love is how we love others. When we love ourselves properly, we are able to give love properly as well. As the women in our lives step into their power, and realize who they are, what a beautiful gift they are to this world - remember it is not instant ingredients into a perfectly risen loaf of bread. Sometimes, some of the ingredients are off - old, stale, sour, discolored, pulled out from the back of the cupboard. We all need to find our place in this new world, that evolves right before our eyes. Leaving behind our partners won't make it easier for us to take our rightful place. When the loaf doesn't rise, do we just throw the mixer away when all the ingredients are bad? They may need reworking, relearning, and more love than ever - but holy hell - don't throw the damn mixer away, it has nothing to do with the bread rising!

Jesus said to forgive 70 times 7 ... that is a lot of times! Hope. We can embrace hope as we come to know who we are again. As he walked our earth, teaching above all - love - he showed it perfectly to all those around him. He gives love to everyone unconditionally, just like some of us do to our dogs, never expecting anything in return. Even if you aren't religious there are many masters out there that teach us how to love. Mother Theresa was so beautiful because she loved everyone, completely, without any judgement or expectation or promise of returned sentiment. If we loved ourselves this way, we could offer it to those around us as well. What a beautiful earth is would become. The face  who steps into office is irrelevant because this nation could be so busy loving ourselves and our neighbors at such an intimate level that we wouldn't bother with the hierarchy that attempts to control us. If our time was spent forgiving 70 times 7, love would trickle out into the community, then the state, then the nation, and government would lose its reasons to control.

Control only works on those who don't forgive, who pay into the idea of being controlled. It is a fear based action, on both ends. A nation filled with love and hope wouldn't have reason to fear. How are we contributing to our nations vibration? It all starts at home. No, it all starts within. Love yourself. Love your family members. Love your neighbors. Love the stranger you cross paths with. Love multiplies like forgiveness. Where you forgive, there is no fear and therefor no separation. While we are all working on loving ourselves again, remember to forgive instead of to separate yourself. We don't have to do this alone. We don't have to control anyone. Where there is hope and love, there is no room for fear.

It comes right down to you. Me and you. Specifically what comes out of your mouth. The words you utter. They have such power. They can be used to build walls between you and whoever you speak to.   They can be used to build someone up, make them feel loved, special, accepted, supported. My Grandma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'll be spending my time speaking hope, love and forgiveness into this world. First into myself. And to those I encounter.

Embarking on building this tiny house, turned into building my own personal house, my body, spirit, soul and everything that makes me who I am. I am currently laying my wood floor, passed along to me by a wonderful friend. (THANK YOU!) Still working on my foundation here, it may not be perfect, but I forgive myself along the way, and know that it is put together with a lot of love. <3

Getting off the Ground

I hit the ground running this holiday weekend and lucked out for everything to fall perfectly into place on my little house project. There were a series of events that made me think twice about my approach to beginning my project. First of all, what I had started with was a pain in my ass. I have come to understand over the years that when something isn't flowing, and isn't coming easily or smooth per say, that it most likely isn't the path you should be on. So, I chose to listen. And pause. And observe the words of wisdom that were coming to me from some direct sources and some surprise sources. My Dad said, I don't think you should do it that way. And I said, alright Dad, I hear you. Then I had a pleasant encounter with a nice man that helped his daughter build a tiny house for his ex-wife (caring and open-minded individual right there) and he was a retired electrical engineer from Boeing and he told me that 60% of a houses heat loss is thru the walls and ceiling.
My project began with me screwing some quarter inch painted plywood to the bottom of my trailer, to sandwich it with insulation and the subfloor. Now, I am not doing that. I am either going to spray insulate it, or put up some blue sheets of insulation later. The key word is later. It feels good not to think about it right now.
So, thats what I am going to do. My moto with this project, and with life really, has been to think far enough ahead until it doesn't feel positive anymore, and to stop before I get to that point. Anything that stresses me out, or makes me feel negative emotion, I don't delve into just yet. Because, I know there will be an appropriate time and place to do it, and it must not be right then.
In result of this new break thru, I have been working away at the subfloor the last two days and have gotten three boards down with the help of a new a very kind special friend I have been blessed to connected with. He has started me off on the right foot, I couldn't imagine a better person to make sure I'm doing it right. His presence, energy and knowledge is just what my little project needed, and maybe what I needed too. ;)
I am going to keep chugging away at this subfloor. It feels amazing to be moving forward and seeing some progress!!!
In the pictures you can see my Dad lifting up my trailer with the forklift so I could remove some of the boards I had already applied. Once I got those off, he lowered it back down for me so I could cover the thing in Tyvek and begin screwing on the subfloor. I used 3/4 inch sheathing and screwed it in with some really awesome fasteners. (Again glad someone great was there to help me pick out the right ones) Send me your happy energy so I can continue to have positive happenings and thoughts towards this project. And have the pleasure of working with more amazing people, or just more with the amazing people I have already met. Someone is looking out for me and my boys, and I'm never sure who, call it God, a guardian angel, spirits that wish me well, I don't know. But, I'll take it.

While I was pre drilling some holes today, my Dad offered me some drill bits that belonged to my late little brother. He and I both know how special they are. I was trying to be super careful, as careful as you can be drilling into steel. And, I said to the drill bit, don't you break you little fudger (just incase my Mother reads this) and don't ya know the very next hole it broke off in. I laughed and laughed. I love when it is so very clear when my little brother is trying to mess with me. And he can still do things to make me laugh so hard. I left it there in that hole so he can be a part of my house, and my journey. I know if he was around he would be there to help me work on this thing... lift heavy stuff for me, instal some sick speakers in the walls for me, and do anything he could to help out his sis. I think of you and miss you every day brother. <3<3<3
Thanks for reading. :)

Real Life v Screen Life

Yesterday my little family was in Seattle, and Gibson, scruffy and I were riding on a carousel. There was this younger girl in front of us, riding on a horse... Gibson was pretending our horses were racing, like on Mary Poppins, because I usually do that with him. We were playing make believe and laughing and smiling and looking around. The young girl was taking picture after picture and doing something which each one, snap chatting it, face booking it, instagraming it, texting it... It blew my mind a little. I thought for a few minutes about what it would be like to do things in life for the reason  of showing others what I am doing. Doing things in life just to give the illusion that you are busy doing something fun. 

The boys and I enjoy doing things for the experience. We do things in life because we want to. Nothing holds us back from doing what we want to do. Not people, not money, not circumstance, and especially not our own limitations that we can sometimes put on ourselves. Everything in life can be obtained, acquired, experienced if we want. If I could tell people of the world just one thing, today, it would be to "Do What You Want". 

Stop caring about other people. Because once you do things for you and not for anyone else, thats when you have the capacity to care for other people. Do what you want. Every day. Every minute. If you are about to do something, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it for me? Is it because I want to? Or, am I doing it to please someone else? 

In my 30 years on this planet, in this body, I have finally learned that being selfish is so very important. Having a healthy view of "Self" is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned. When you take care of yourself, in every possible way (emotionally, physically, psychologically) you open yourself up to a higher level of living. You are suddenly capable of doing anything. You are available to help anyone around you. You are open to teach and learn. You are free to love and be loved. 

For my boys to see me in a completely whole state, happy, doing what I want in my life - its gives them the ability to do the same. They see me beaming with joy. They are happy when I am happy. And thru my ability to do and be what I want, my wanting is to create the most perfect life for them. I want their lives to be full of adventure and learning and new experiences and love... so much love. I want to harness so much positive energy through my experience in raising them that they should never need to heal from their childhood. I have chosen to be responsible for the wellbeing and growth of two human beings, and this task I plan to exceed at in every possible way. 

For those of you out there searching for a path for healing, set an intention, ask for help, allow the change. My tiny house journey is more than just building a tiny house, so much more, it is also a journey towards a life and lifestyle that is more aligned with me and who I am and what I am here to do.