I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!

Hiatus complete. Married, check. Happy, double check. Kids remain top priority, check. Regained momentum on tiny home project, 5/8th check. Passion for growth and continual learning, BIG ASS CHECK.

Since April, I have accomplished so much, it would be ridiculous to try and summarize. I feel like my growth as a person has exponentially rocketed forward, and it is now my main "job." Law of attraction on steroids would be an understatement. We are bordering on destiny here people. Too much information? Perhaps. But, that's okay. Truth above all else. When there is truth, there can be love.

Why do I preface this post so? It is important to know how we got here. My computer is resting on my sleeping dog nestled between my legs in the spare bed in the beautiful home I live in with my husband and two boys. Groom, my blood hound/mastiff rescue, who came to us out camping by the coast this summer, is a prime example of the beauty that is my life now. He is the most loyal dog I can possibly imagine. We spent all day together, riding to drop the kids off at school, running some errands, running on the beach, taking a nap ... and it is so easy to love him unconditionally, because he isn't complicated. I know what he needs. Food, water, love, exercise, car rides, opportunities to lean on trees/ bushes/ fire hydrants and constant companionship. And he has also come to know what I need. In short, to be leaned on with all 100 pounds of his body weight, snuggled, raced out of the car and other random idiosyncrasies. Why is loving a human so much more complicated?

It has been 2100 years now we have been in the Picean Era, one where religion and war were predominant, and men were in so many ways "more" than woman, frankly put. Now, as we transition into the age of Aquarian, the woman start to come out of the woodworks. Spirituality, and inner growth become more popular than religion, and there is more acceptance and love flowing around. The sun starts to shine again and people feel empowered, and start to align with hope. I have noticed many woman around me begin to realize their power, their own strengths and abilities. We are all changing and evolving, wanting more than to stay at home raising our children, cooking dinner, cleaning, tending the garden, or simply working those jobs we are over qualified for on account of one commitment or another.

Love becomes more important than ever. Most notably loving ones self. The best judge of self love is how we love others. When we love ourselves properly, we are able to give love properly as well. As the women in our lives step into their power, and realize who they are, what a beautiful gift they are to this world - remember it is not instant ingredients into a perfectly risen loaf of bread. Sometimes, some of the ingredients are off - old, stale, sour, discolored, pulled out from the back of the cupboard. We all need to find our place in this new world, that evolves right before our eyes. Leaving behind our partners won't make it easier for us to take our rightful place. When the loaf doesn't rise, do we just throw the mixer away when all the ingredients are bad? They may need reworking, relearning, and more love than ever - but holy hell - don't throw the damn mixer away, it has nothing to do with the bread rising!

Jesus said to forgive 70 times 7 ... that is a lot of times! Hope. We can embrace hope as we come to know who we are again. As he walked our earth, teaching above all - love - he showed it perfectly to all those around him. He gives love to everyone unconditionally, just like some of us do to our dogs, never expecting anything in return. Even if you aren't religious there are many masters out there that teach us how to love. Mother Theresa was so beautiful because she loved everyone, completely, without any judgement or expectation or promise of returned sentiment. If we loved ourselves this way, we could offer it to those around us as well. What a beautiful earth is would become. The face  who steps into office is irrelevant because this nation could be so busy loving ourselves and our neighbors at such an intimate level that we wouldn't bother with the hierarchy that attempts to control us. If our time was spent forgiving 70 times 7, love would trickle out into the community, then the state, then the nation, and government would lose its reasons to control.

Control only works on those who don't forgive, who pay into the idea of being controlled. It is a fear based action, on both ends. A nation filled with love and hope wouldn't have reason to fear. How are we contributing to our nations vibration? It all starts at home. No, it all starts within. Love yourself. Love your family members. Love your neighbors. Love the stranger you cross paths with. Love multiplies like forgiveness. Where you forgive, there is no fear and therefor no separation. While we are all working on loving ourselves again, remember to forgive instead of to separate yourself. We don't have to do this alone. We don't have to control anyone. Where there is hope and love, there is no room for fear.

It comes right down to you. Me and you. Specifically what comes out of your mouth. The words you utter. They have such power. They can be used to build walls between you and whoever you speak to.   They can be used to build someone up, make them feel loved, special, accepted, supported. My Grandma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'll be spending my time speaking hope, love and forgiveness into this world. First into myself. And to those I encounter.

Embarking on building this tiny house, turned into building my own personal house, my body, spirit, soul and everything that makes me who I am. I am currently laying my wood floor, passed along to me by a wonderful friend. (THANK YOU!) Still working on my foundation here, it may not be perfect, but I forgive myself along the way, and know that it is put together with a lot of love. <3

The Field

Figuring out card #3

Preface: I get deep here. If you are going to begin reading this, commit to reading to the end. If you are around chaos, step away. Go outside. Ground yourself, literally sit on the ground if you need to, to get connected to source. If it is internal chaos, meditate for a few minutes before reading, please. What I share with you here is not light, and should only be read if you have an open heart. 

The birds are chirping loud today, and the grass smells like fresh cucumbers, its a new day, and my perspective on the world is renewed. I experienced a paradigm shift today. My transformation has made a sharp right turn and my clarity and view of things are clear as crystal, so clear that what I am looking through doesn’t even exist. One week ago last night, I shared some space with the most special girl friend I have ever had. She didn’t realize it, but she was an instrument, holding a field for me to heal myself before committing my life and the remainder of my existence on this earthly plain to the man that I resonate with in every way. Our complete harmony sends peaceful waves in every direction outwards. We have the kind of love you only dream about and hear of in fairy tales. My dear friend and I enjoyed a quick 15 minute tarot card reading session, in which I drew three cards. The first card is my blockage. The second is the way in which my blockage gets released. The third card is the result of the first two being resolved. We enjoyed a higher level of consciousness, the way we have become accustomed to when in each others presence. After my card reading was done she lead me downstairs where our other halves were kneeling on the floor together waiting. And I said yes to the invitation of companionship that was extended by the man I had been searching for for what seemed like centuries. We celebrated together, and laughed a lot. One week to the day we embarked on an adventure together, the four of us. Before our adventure the cards made another appearance. The gentlemen had their turn to feel what the universe had to tell them, and we all held a space for healing for each other. In the evening after our boating outing my lovely friend did some reiki on my companion. And throughout this day, I am continually thinking about what my cards meant for me, a week earlier. My first card was a storytelling card. This was my blockage. I have been writing, a lot. About my life. About my transformation. But, suddenly about a week or two ago, I stopped. I wasn’t sure I was going in the right direction with what I was writing. So, I stopped. My second card was medicine woman. What this meant I did not know. And, this was the way in which I was to clear my blockage, so it was imperative for me to figure it out. I set the intention when the cards turned up, that I was going to crack this code, and figure out how healing was related to my writing. As we returned home from our friends house last night, pretty late in the evening, we had a little time to ourselves during the evening routine, and I felt called to pick up one of the four books we kept on the nightstand in which we read from often. The one I pulled out we had not read from in several months. I opened it up at random and started to read. The specific part I read didn’t really resonate with either of us in the moment, and I read a little farther looking for what it was we were supposed to hear from this book at this time. We stayed up way too late, and because we were delirious with exhaustion, we over analyzed and over thought some words in the moment and were for the very first time, not in complete harmony with each other. Still filling the space with I love yous and apologies for misunderstandings we drifted off to sleep left with our own thoughts. After waking in the morning, we began our resolve, We started the journey back to the place of unconditional love and complete embrace that we had spent all of our previous time in, since meeting. I read him a love letter that I had been working on. We spoke of how we each felt and why we arrived at that place of feeling. We noticed patterns and let go of all expectation. As our conversation blossomed, so did our understanding of what we are meant to do here together. We have felt an underlying purpose since the second we laid eyes on each other. We have noticed the people around us starting to change. There is a pull taking place in our circles of friends, a change in the air. Some are realizing love, where before there was fear. Some are figuring out what they want. Others are facing their dark interiors with intentions of change and healing. There is something miraculous happening around us. We have been reading of healing with love. Love being the chief tool in the power and ability to heal oneself. Love can heal all wounds. And it makes sense to me that the purest most inspired choosing of love can create the quickest purest healing. If love can heal all wounds, that the strongest love can heal the deepest wounds. And allow me if you will to draw another conclusion for your understanding of wounds, that all wounds are connected a physically manifested appearance directly relative to a mental and or spiritual cavern. Spoken more simply, our physical pain relates to our emotional well being, always. Chew on that for a minute. We attract into our experience what we feel resonates with our emotions. If we feel that we have no control, we are attracting situations in which we have no control. To the most possible extreme emotionally and physically. When we are in the depths of despair in the way that we feel, our physical existence reflects that. Lacking a feeling of control for so long that it is sewn into the makeup of your DNA, it can possibly result in the most extreme of paralysis physically, if we succumb to those feelings. We have all felt this way, large or small, whether we have made the connection yet or not. But, if the focus is on what we have to be thankful for, that is what grows. When you find love so pure that thought of being without the person that makes you feel that way, if for only one second, makes you dread that second ever taking place. So, you devote your lives to each other. And you seek truth in what you were brought together to accomplish. You crack the code together, as a team. Bouncing ideas off each other like a sounding board, recalling experiences that come into your mind, and sentences you read and feelings you felt and people who effected you until you reach a peak of enlightenment because it is all out of love. Unconditional love. And love surrounds you every moment, so strong that those around you are pulled towards change because you are offering them a safe place to heal. And the sentence that you read in the book last night comes to you again. It is the healer that is sick. The healer that is sick. Think on that for a moment. Usually the healer heals the sick, or so I have understood it in the past. “Ultimately, remember that the healer is the one who was sick, and the practitioner is only holding a field to allow the healer to accelerate their own healing process.” Jesus didn’t heal the sick, he created a field of love for those around him to heal themselves. He held a field, and those who were sick made the choice to heal, and through his love, they found their way. Love can heal all wounds. Love. Not fear. Choose love. Be love. Be it all on your own. Then, when you find someone you are in complete harmony with, that you can’t imagine spending a second of this life without, love each other, unconditionally. Without expectation. And together create a field of healing for one another. And then bring your love out into the world so that others can feel it. Create that field for others to choose their healing. It is time. It is time for us all to stop looking outside of ourselves for the solutions to our problems. The answers are all within you. Surround yourselves with love, and then choose to heal yourselves. There are healers that walk among us, but with a deeper understanding, you can know that we are all healers. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and become a unified blended being, seeing all. And now, I can write. And the third card will remain a mystery to you for now, because that is not part of this story. Surround yourselves with love. Be love. See love, and it will quickly appear all around you. If you have arrived there, be the field for those around you. Just be, and love, no more action is needed. As you finish reading this, check in with yourself.  Be gentle with the areas in which you need to grow, but acknowledge them. Set an intention for healing, and surround yourselves with love. 

Just a little Ketchup 

Hello my readers, I know it has been a little while, I have been writing, just not here. It occurred to me it was time to check in again and update you all. I have been working diligently on my tiny home, every single day, unless I am working, and some days I even bring my work with me. So many things have been happening in my life, it is hard to grasp at times. I’ll start with an update on the house, and move forward from there. The siding has been going on a little slow. I am great at math, and there is a lot of measuring and math involved with the siding, as well as a lot of sheer strength required. I have been stubborn, working on this house all on my own. My folks gave me a deadline, which I appreciate, it puts things in perspective and tells me that this time of my life is nearly over, and to soak up this experience while I am having it. I go out to the shop every day, after dropping my kids off across town. I open the shop door, turn the music on and inventory where I am and what comes next. I have stayed sane on the project only looking ahead enough to what I can handle. If I look to far ahead and get overwhelmed, I back up to where I am comfortable. It all flows that way, it all happens naturally. Because I was informed of this new deadline, again, which I am happy about, I reached out to my family and asked for some help. My sister has been diligent in coming out to help me often, her help is so appreciated. I also talked my older brother into coming out and helping me with the siding. Both of my siblings are fantastic at building things. We have all learned well. We are all hard workers. So, having there help is like having another me around. It is amazing. My brother did all of the measuring that day, and I did the cutting and screwing, and it was nice to have another hand with those really heavy boards. In the last few days I have finished one whole side and put trim up around every window. It feels completed, well almost… finishing touches… BUT, it feels complete and peaceful to look at and move right along. I haven’t dwelled too long in looking at it, just on to the next. I do need to now finish the siding on the other side and one end. I did put in some insulation yesterday which was a really great feeling. Before buttoning up under the candeleaver, I needed to insulate and sandwich with siding. It was a great feeling completing that part, and again, moving along to the next. Once the outside is done, I will move inside and start to finish that. I have two months, from today. April fools day. And, it is completely doable. I have started to downsize one more time, third time is the charm. I still have too much stuff. It feels amazing every time I do it. 

I have been writing a lot. About my life. About this journey. My journey has been a beautiful learning experience. It has been so healing to look back and see the lessons. To thank the universe for the people in my life, whether they are still in my life or not. I have been so extremely lucky to have crossed paths with so many beautiful people. I am blessed beyond words. And also, to realize again and again how beautiful the people around me are that have surrounded me my whole life. This home is not just built by me, or by the people who have come to help, or who have made my life easier throughout this whole process by one small act of kindness after another… it is a home built by community, by love. Pure love, that comes with no expectation can make flowers blossom where there was maybe only dirt. Love those around you. Give thanks for what you have, instead of what you don’t. Listen to the little people, and love them, because they are our future. Teach them by example, they watch all you do, and all you say, and they feel all you feel. 

LOVE

Priorities in Life

As I have said before on my blog, this is all for these two right here. A better life for them. A better childhood. A better way of going through the world than before this journey began. As I was figuring out my path was not as I sensed it should be, I began to change my life. It was over a year ago I decided to change my vibrations, my direction and my results. I jumped head first into counseling to try and right some patterns that I had been seeing in my life. To better understand who I am and where I have come from. Counseling turning into changes, and calming assurances that I was headed in the right direction. The things in my life that were right started to get more right, and the things in my life that were wrong started to get more wrong. A friend told me about saturn return, it had been starting for me about 10 months before I turned 30. Look it up, its interesting. If your life isn't on the right path, you are pulled from the universe, the tide, the moon, the sun, those around you, and who knows what else. You are pulled onto the right path in life. If you fight it, it can be another 30 years before the planets align the same way again, and you feel that pull. I felt it strong. Towards the end of my experience with a mentor helping me work through my self worth, my childhood influence and my deep rooted desire to share my life with someone who really truly sees me for exactly the person I am, and who I have the potential to become - I started to make changes in my life. I started to make big changes. I began a long excruciating, sad and upsetting break up with a man I promised to marry. I quit the job where I made awesome money, had a great time, loved the people around me, but wasn't growing from anymore. I began developing a relationship with my boys father, who I had been married to for 7 years, and divorced from for almost 5. He simultaneously decided to move 1600 miles closer to his kids. I made the decision to build a tiny house. I walked in off the street to an awesome private school and that resulted in their enrollment very quickly and a whole new network of people in our lives. I chose to begin the journey of figuring out what I want, and to begin attracting that. 

We made a lot of changes, very quickly. I turned 30, began work on my tiny home shortly after. We became surrounded by wonderful loving kind family and friends, a lot of whom we have known less than a year, and feel as intricately a part of our lives as friends we have known a long time. My children are learning and growing an exponential amount because of their new environment of love and acceptance. They love their school. They love having their Dad and his loving girlfriend close. They love more and more every day, because their Mom is happy and on the right path. They see me living my life in alignment with my own happiness. They see me creating a lifes work, and a passion for the things I am doing in my life, and the people I encounter. They learn from that. They absorb it like a sponge. The vibration around them is higher than it has ever been, and I see their vibrations changing to, and lifting up. 

I feel seen. I feel loved. I can now see the beauty in myself and I can more fully love myself when I do what feeds my soul, and spend my time helping others because there is no drama or unease at home. Everything is in alignment, and the feeling is euphoric. Two days ago there was a fund raising event for the kids school, five acre. All of the parents and teachers put a lot of work into that even to raise money for our kids to enjoy a top notch education. It had been quite a build up. We were at it for weeks collecting donations, planning, planning and more planning. And then came the event. It was beautiful. It was fun. There were so many smiles I thought it possible for peoples faces to break. There were so many wonderful familiar faces. So many hugs. So much happiness in the air, most especially for the children. 

What was so beautiful about it for me, was unity. Everyone coming together for a beautiful cause; the children. Its all for the children. My children's Dad came, and his girlfriend (who we all love to pieces) and it was a magical experience. I gave thanks that day many times over. The kids ran around and found their Dad, found me, found Carrie and found Jason and we all came together more than once and rejoiced in the happiness of those boys. They were flying free. Being loved from all angles. There was no judgement no animosity no upset no anger no selfishness no negative in sight. I am blessed beyond words. This journey has taught me so many things. But, one very important thing is what the little people who follow you around all day are learning from you. 

I have raised my children with a goal in mind, with a hope, that they will never have to heal from their childhood. That they are surrounded by so much love, that they have no where to go but up. They can be examples to the kids around them. They can choose to live their life exactly as they choose because there is no drama to distract them. Two days ago, everything came together. Those boys are the future of this world. All of our children are. And if they can feel love, pure, free, wild untethered love - the possibilities for them are without boundaries. 

Please don't underestimate the power of love. Love can heal all wounds. Love can bring two people that could no longer stay married to one another together to raise the beautiful children they once created in love. Love brings those new partners in that can see the whole picture and encourage everyone to work as a team, for one cause. Love can bring a friends daughter back into their life after a year of absence. Love is a most powerful tool. A new friend taught me a  thought the other day that keeps coming back to me, "Good always wins over evil." Endure whatever your current state may be, but push forward in love. See the love around you, acknowledge it, welcome it, share gratitude and it will become more abundant. It is all forward moving from here. Love surrounds us, welcome it in. <3 

People Come and People Go

On this journey, I have encountered people who are afraid of my light. Their instincts are to shy away from me altogether, or try and shoot me down to make themselves feel better, or even attempt to change me. These people don't usually last long in my world. They are bewildered how I continue having such wonderful "luck" and doors open for me, my path is clear and my heart is light. My jovial personality throws them for a loop. They can't make logical sense of why I am continually happy every single day. Then before you know it, "who I am" affects them, and they allow their emotions to rule their day, and their month and their entire world. Emotions are simply our inner beings way of communicating with us. They are saying, what you are thinking of right now isn't in alignment with what you want. Take the messages that come to you, and let it flow down the river. We are not meant to become hung up on our feelings. Someone wise whom I once spent a lot of time with taught me this valuable lesson. Once I finally got the hang of it, it changed my whole life.
We can't control those around us. We can't teach them lessons they need to learn on our time frame, heck, they may not ever learn them. But, if they do, it has to come in their timing, and of their choosing. A release of power and control has to take place. I have to constantly release those around me. I try to hold on to people. Not physically. LOL But, I love people so fiercely, when it is time for them to move along in my life, it's hard for me to let them go. I am being taught this idea in life, over and over it seems. People come and go. Its best to let them.
I am sitting here on this beautiful day, basking in the sun after working all day on my roof. The sun warms my skin and warms my heart. It subtly changes me. And, I allow it to. In my own life, I do my best to be as warm as the sun. I give my heart everywhere I go, in everything I do. I am putting my heart into this home. I put my heart into my children every day. I do my best to put my heart into every relationship I feed. But, I am not perfect. Although you can't see any flaws in the sun, her strength, light and pure intensity distracts from finding any visible discrepancies. Focus on the good, and you see the good. Don't mistake someone's intensity in one direction as a lack of attention to another. We all get to make our lives whatever we want them to be. The trick is allowing those around you to be exactly who they are without judgement.
So, I release all the people. I allow the energy around me to flow like a river. People come, people go. We all know whats best for ourselves if we listen to our intuition. I have come to know mine quite well on my journey, and I don't ever question it. Is there anyone in your life you seem to be fighting to keep? Are we letting our close friends and loved ones be exactly themselves? It's okay to see the potential in someone and love them for who they are now. Don't try to change me, and I won't try to change you.

DNA Strands

I'm not perfect. I have spent way more time connecting with people this week instead of work on my house... And instead of cleaning my car out, I connected with people. And, when I knew I should be doing something to further my life, I was busy connecting with people. Whoops! As I have said many times before, this blog is less about building a tiny house according to details and specs etc, and more about building a tiny house and the way that I am changed in the process.
It is so refreshing living my life in a way that betters myself and those around me. It took me giving up things and letting people go and saying goodbye to my ego forever. When all these changes happen, beauty becomes abundant. There is light around every corner, and color popping up where you thought were just shades of grey and black and white. Gratitude becomes a way of moving about, instead of words coming out of your mouth. Love fuels every move, and is underlying your every intention. When you come to alignment of who you are and who you were meant to be, its not thought that makes you serve those around you, its your next breath. It flows like walking. You see an opportunity to brighten someones day, and before you know it you are digging two fifties out of your pocket and handing them over to someone who needs them far more than you do, disguised by a little chocolate bar.
When you make the efforts in your life to live for more than yourself, opportunities present themselves to help you on that path. They are always there. Its the way of the universe. Learning to love yourself is the doorway to moving through the world in such a way that everyone is better after encountering you. When the universe puts opportunities in your pathway to help others, you don't think twice, its just part of your movement through this world.
The amount of gratitude I feel for these moments in bringing light to anyone put on my path is beyond any words I can use in this language to express. To feel the heart of another be lifted in your presence is a love unnamed. Living my life in a way that I can continue to experience these glimpses is my constant goal.
"It's kind of hard to love life and love yourself and have lots of fun when you don't have self-worth hormones, and right now your bodies don't have them. You have to want them in order to make them. You see your DNA is a double-helix, a twisted ladder of nodules. There are three strands that must be together in order to make you love life, love yourself, and feel good. If these three are in place, you have self-worth, you have love. You also have to put life into this body and it will keep on living even if you leave it and put it in the grave. So these hormones or strands in your DNA were not given to the body, because it would be a cruel things to do to it until you yourself wanted to live. It was put into motion that when you love yourself enough, you would grow them." - excerpt from Joy Riding the Universe by Sheradon Bryce
This journey I'm on, in transforming my life, and the life of my children, is bringing me to this very beautiful place of love and self-worth, and look at how love is growing all around. If you aren't on this path, please join me. Ask yourself, why would you want to BE without loving yourself, feeling good and loving life?

Lovely Life

Lovely Life

I have been working my tail off on the roof. With the four dedicated days a week I try and work on it, I was able to get the roof rafters in, it all sheathed, the sky lights framed in and cut out, and the whole roof papered... The next step will be metal roofing, flashing sky lights and getting them in. Once I get the roof done I can move on to covering the walls and putting the windows in. How exciting!!! In case any of you wondered who my valentine is this year, it was my house. :) I have been very fortunate to spend time with lovely friends lately, but at the end of the day, when my kids are off visiting their Dad, I am devoting my time attention and love to my home, it's so romantic. 

On Sunday, I had planned to climb a mountain, but instead I hopped a ride with a friend out to the coast. When someone has a dream, sometimes you just go with it... :) The ocean always calls me. It has been so nice to be disconnected lately. Still without a phone for now...

At any rate, I have enjoyed being present with people around me. Working hard on my house, without the distraction of a phone to slow me down and take me off task. I have had very few pictures of the building process in the last few weeks. My Mom has taken a few pictures that I got off her phone, yay! Thanks Mom!

I got the opportunity to get out to Port Townsend twice last week to collect some things for my house... I got a few port holes and a captains wheel for the kids room, some hinges, and some great ideas. We got some of the things at a marine exchange there, it is a store front down in the ship yard area where are the boats are being repaired. People just donate all of the ship stuff to them, and some guys sells the stuff. Nice business, eh? Anyway, the kids had a great time looking around at all the boats in dry dock. One old wooden ship was being repaired, and we watched the guy pound cotton in the cracks with a chisel, and he came and talked to us and educate us on some of the process. It was great, and very educational for the kids. We live in a place with lots and lots of water around, the ocean, the straights, rivers, lakes, canals... and we love boats.

Also, while I was adventuring out at the ocean I stumbled on an abandoned ranger station that had been pretty trashed and had lots of junk laying around. I walked through the house and found a nice camping pot, a few pulleys, a colorful crab trap float and a few round floats. Since it was only a day hike, I tied it all up on some rope and drug it out of there. I thought it would be fun to put a counter weighted pulley system going down from the boys loft with a float.

It is always nice to feel the energy of the ocean. I allowed it to flow through me and cleanse out some stagnant energy. After living away from the ocean back in college for 8 years, I have a lot of gratitude having the ocean so close. I really missed it during that time in my life, even though I lived on a lake.

There is a very rhythmic powerful pull and push that you can enjoy from the ocean, that not too many other things in life can offer. Its an opportunity to reset, to love where you are, and to appreciate the loving kind people around you. I haven't spent a lot of time single in my life, and I must say I am loving it. I have been so fortunate to have partners come and go that I have loved so much, and learned so much from. I also spend a lot of my time mothering and taking care of two sweet little boys. Having weekends free now has allowed time to be me, to work, to build my house, and to do things that really feed my soul. Being in nature, hiking, sitting at the ocean, beach combing, being around people that lift me up are what carry me through a fast paced week. 

Thanks to kind friends that have invited me out to golf, to shows, to dinner and dancing, fund raising events, dedicated songs to me ;);), gone on drives to the ferry with me, attending building expos, love my kids like their own while I work, driving around looking for things for my house, ocean trips, playing darts n pool, and lots of general adventuring... who needs valentines day when you appreciate having wonderful people in your life everyday? Cheers to great friends. And to continuing to work my ass of on this house. It's all coming together.

Super Human Strength

Imagine a roof in this photo... 

Some of my readers know I have been without a phone for several weeks... Some of my friends and family want to rip my face off because its annoying as hell to try and get a hold of me. Personally, I am loving it! A wonderful new friend of mine gave me a phone to use, but I have been putting off hooking it up to service. I am simply loving the feeling of being disconnected from constant contact. Those who know me well, know where to find me. Others, message me where I can respond within a few days. One downside is I haven't been getting pictures of my progress on the house. Since this last photo, I have added the second top plate, all the roof rafters, the facia, and all the plywood accept a small strip I need to measure, cut and nail in place. I also floored the boys loft this evening. 

Let me tell you about my day. I spent the entire day, after a pit stop at the beach following my morning school drop off, nailing up facia to my roof rafters. For those of you who don't know what facia is; look it up. For those of you that do, welcome back after looking it up... I used some grey reclaimed barn wood cut against the grain that was given to us by Nick's kindergarten teacher and her family. It was such a loving kind gift, and I was so happy to use it today and instal it on the house. It is officially the first piece of the house that won't be covered up. Everything else so far that I have built will be covered up. 

After finishing my facia, I did another school run, and then picked up some plywood for my roof. My Dad scored some beautiful cedar tongued plywood from PenPly (a local mill) before they shut down, and was gracious enough to let me use it on my home. It is going to save me so much money, Ill be owing him favors for a long time! Grass mowing for eternity? I guess its worth it. Any who, my friend helped me load up about 9.5 sheets in my trusty beater of a truck and the boys started in on some roller hockey while I worked. I lifted 8 sheets up onto the roof by myself. Let me share some insight with you all. Im a stubborn fuck. Sorry for the language Mom... I know she reads this sometimes, because last week she asked me why I was feeding all my friends soup on the weekends...lol 

So... I am so stubborn I built the entire roof myself. I had friends offer to help, and even want to help. But, I felt that I needed to go at it alone. And, I said to someone the other day, its not like I can do it all alone... its not like I can hand a sheet of plywood up to myself. Well, I have proven myself wrong. I can do that. It wasn't too hard, just heavy. It was a great workout. Each sheet is probably at least 30 pounds, and I lifted each one up the latter 13 feet and onto the roof. Bam! Then as the sun set, I began laying them out, fitting the tongues together and nailing them mostly complete, and got all eight nailed down, most of the way (the circumference mostly.) There was minimal grunting. 

At around 7:30, Nick found me a head lamp and I decided to cover their loft too. After finishing that, I invited them up there and told them it was their room! We then talked about a ladder or stairs or a cat walk or sliding ladder - still trying to figure that part out. I was able to see the stars so bright when I was up on the roof. I cherish the clarity of the country. I could see so many constellations, and probably planets, who knows... I was able to be still and imagine climbing out the sky light in my loft and laying on my roof to enjoy the night sky, without a care in the world. I can't wait! Actually, I don't have to, maybe Ill head out there right now. 

It sure feels fantastic to build a roof over my families head. This is a magnificent labor of love. And, I must love my family a hell of a lot, because I felt super human with all the work that I accomplished today. To finish off such a wonderful day, I fed the boys the rest of my weekend soup, made them a fresh smoothy with frozen bananas pineapple and peaches that were all preserved from the warmer weather, and fresh lemon poppyseed almond muffins. Take that Martha Stewart. 

The Roof is on Fire

In moments of waiting, I have been pressing forward. As far as my house goes, I have been drilling holes in my framing for the electrical and water tubes to go thru. I was filling my time with extra odd jobs to make some extra money to buy lumber. I am so close! Not much lumber left to acquire, just the 2x6s for the roof, some sheathing for the roof, and then the metal roofing. But, I was stuck in a holding pattern... until I had a very kind generous friend donate $27 to my cause. I had all but forgotten about my Go Fund Me link, as I have not really been pushing it, just having it there "in case." This same kind generous friend then went to some of his kind generous friends and asked them to donate $27. And I am sitting here typing this post feeling so grateful for kind people in the world. I was able to go buy all the lumber for my roof today and got 5 rafters notched out and installed, even though I am sicker than a dog. Thank you to those people who donated to this tiny house adventure, we are grateful beyond measure, and were pretty speechless than we didnt even know 11/13 of them that donated. Thank you!!!!
I believe in karma. I teach my children about karma, and they know it well. Depending on how you believe, karma can be instant. I believe it is more often then not, fairly quick. Throughout this entire journey, I have felt so blessed by the people we have encountered, and the help we have received and the love that those around us have shown. This kind dear friend of mine also reminded me of something I was forgetting. I had forgotten my goal in all of this. Its obvious I am doing this as a place to live, and a home for my children, and no financial burdens of a typical home, but all the wonderful benefits of one.... but beyond all of those reasons is a deeper reason that I have held in my heart and not really shared. I seek to free myself up, to give more of myself. As I have been on my own personal journey, I have realized that I feel most happy when I am giving. I am trying pretty hard to give too much right now, and have to keep myself in check constantly. Reminding myself that this goal will get me there. I give so much I run myself into the ground.
It is so important to have balance. Cant you tell I am a Libra?? ha! I seek to balance taking care of myself with giving of myself. When I get this house done, I want to give all I can. I want to give advice. I want to teach people things. I want to give service. I want to make good food and share it. Have any of you readers had my weekend soup? Those close to me know what I mean... It has become a small challenge of mine to see how many people I can share my weekend soup with. I travel with my soup pot every weekend (it has been cold enough here that is stays good in my car) and I see how many people I can feed off of that one pot of soup. Last weekend was 9+ people. I make it on Wednesday and take it with me to work/friends/projects/mastermind meetings/house building/parties all weekend until its gone. Its good hearty soup, with brown rice, beans, vegetables, turkey stock, lentils and whatever else I can find in my Moms fridge to put in it.
When our home is complete: I want to travel to foreign countries and open peoples minds to love. I want to take my kids traveling and open their eyes to the way other people live, and think. I want to build houses in Mexico, and teach children in Africa and make jewelry on beaches all over the world and give it away just to make someone's day. I want to go to India and see what's so cool over there! My intentions are to give as much as I can, and then more. I want to help people heal, physically, emotionally and in any other way they may need to. I want to continually write, because you never know how your words may influence someone.
I want to ask you, as the reader to take just a moment and focus on your heart space. Do you know where that is? It is the dead center of your chest. Take just a moment and think of something you love the most in the world. Feel the love for that person or object or experience right there in you heart space. Concentrate on it. Feel it grow. Harness it. Feel it build in intensity and heat.... Now send it away to someone you love. Send it to someone you think might need a little boost. No matter how near or far they are from you, imagine them receiving it. Distance and space don't hinder this one bit. You have given something very powerful. We don't have to have a lot to give. It's amazing how $27 can change someone's day, or week or year. I challenge you all to give of yourselves. If you can't give a meal to someone that is hungry, or a ride to a hitchhiker, or a hug for someone who is having a hard day, then get into your heart space and send some love... to anyone. And then, watch it come back around to you.

Its the calm before the storm...

At this point, I have hit rock bottom financially. Don't worry! It's a good story... I am sitting in the Starbucks while my kids are at school (a private school I am behind on paying for), my occasional Tuesday job doesn't have enough work to pay me to come in today, my other job that I started wants me to jump through all kinds of hoops to get paid, so that is taking a while, my third job that I fill in at should be paying me via direct deposit any day for filling in one day almost two weeks ago, my fourth stream of income I deposited a check I was handed from an angel today, but my account is over drawn $13 and I deposited it, but it is processing so I couldn't pay for the hot tea I just ordered so I could sit in this starbucks and use the internet to write a blog post... AND my gigantic tax return is in the mail... AND this is the longest run on sentence in history.  I am so beyond grateful to be sitting here. Alive. Healthy. Happy as a clam. Maybe I should be embarrassed? I don't know... I might sit here until my deposit goes thru so I can pay for my hot tea. But I am so stoked on life I can barely sit here still. I keep looking around me, I am surrounded by old people, because I live in a retirement community, playing cribbage, talking about their fixed income and dentures.

I am so stoked on life because it can only get better from here. There is no possible way to go down! At least financially. HA! It is so interesting and different for me to look at any negative in my life. I see it, but then, I focus on why this is happening? What have I to learn?

I saw someone today that has always been a big part of my life. Someone in her family has been a key person in my life since I was possibly 10. Now, not one of them is. In fact, they have in a way disowned me, or so it feels to me. I don't blame them. I made choices that didn't involve them. But, where I am going with this, is that I saw her today. I wasn't really ready to see her, so what do I have to learn? I need to forgive, I think. I need to forgive myself. It was okay to chose a path for myself without considering everyone else, like was accustomed for me. I need to move forward. But, not without acknowledging where I have come from. It is easy to sit here and panic that I can't pay for a hot tea. The sweet lady behind the counter told me not to worry about it. But... I will pay for what I have asked for.

I could have easily asked two friends that I have seen here to pay for my tea. I could have walked the easy road. I could have stayed comfortable, worked the job where I made loads of money but wasn't growing anymore. I could have stayed with the man I agreed to marry and traveled around with him, but I wouldn't have learned these lessons for myself. It was important to notice the destructive patterns and consciously decide I would be no part of them anymore. It was time for me to grow.

I could have chickened out in this whole journey and given up when it got tough. But, I am a different person now than I was before I made some tough decisions. I am aware. I am awake. The things I am learning and the path I am on is one I chose. I choose to be in a different space than where I have been the last 20 years. I have learned so many things from this journey, I can hardly contain or remember it all. My mind is full of thoughts, my arms are full of books, and my heart is filled with people. My path to transformation is leading me down a road of simplicity, detachment, learning, loving, and a shit ton of hard work. But, I am moving forward. I may not have one dollar in my pocket (I have 3 but left them at home) but I feel accomplished and rich with knowledge and love. Love powers the universe and all of the energy that surrounds us, its the life force and the battery I choose to run off of. Money may make the world go around, but its also just paper. Without money, there is still hot tea. There are still people to love. There goes one more person I could have asked to pay for my tea. But, I need to go at this alone.

At lease I got the "bring your own cup" discount. As I am flying with my projects and with my love for life, learning and the people I encounter I give thanks for the people who got me where I am. I am so fortunate they have loved me, even if they no longer do. And, I will continue to love every person I encounter with the hopes of sending enough love around the world to get back to the people who gave it to me. One big circle. But, this journey I had to go at alone. I will have built this tiny house with my own two hands and done it without any debt. In this last sentence I have figured out what my lesson was, what the hell was I doing buying hot tea? I should have been buying a 2x6.

Keeping on Task

My Journey has taught me so far...

How to scrape every penny out of every crevice in my life, and simultaneously be as generous as I can possibly be. As I embarked on this journey, I planned out everything pretty well, and had enough money saved up to make it happen, for the most part. I knew there were things I hadn't yet bought, like lumber, which I would need to figure out a way to get. I think there are so many people out there that are afraid to talk about money. Well, I am not one of them. This whole journey has been one of hard work, self discovery, and budgeting and magnetism. I can not tell you the number of times I have had not one dollar available to spend and somehow everything worked out for myself and my kids. Granted, I will be bringing my parents gifts of food for the next year + to make up for all the food we have eaten while we have been living here, only a month or two, but still! And my kids go to a private school, which I am behind on paying for (working on it), and I am building a house without being in debt... its magic, I swear! Every spare dollar I get, I go buy a 2x6 or a 4x4 with... Ha! I have used a lot of reclaimed lumber, and everything I have purchased for my house it used, for the most part. Used windows, all of them! Used sinks, used flooring, used tile, used doors, used wiring and eventually switches and light fixtures and used material from traveling to tile the bathroom. Im going to make my own toilet!!
One of the coolest things that happened was in the first few weeks of this journey, when I found a trailer distributor, and the trailer I wanted. I made a down payment, knowing that I would need to come up with like $6000 on the fly in like 6 weeks time. I made the deposit having no idea how I would make the rest of the money. And, when they called and said the trailer was ready for pick up, I had to have the rest! Well, somehow, I scraped up every penny I needed, just in the knick of time. I even succeeded with an ex demanding money from me just to be mean, and I paid it to him, just to be nice.
I have learned so much about money from this experience, and the power of positive thinking. I have noticed when I focus on the lack of money that I have, I end up having no money. But, when I focus on having money and just operate like its there (not over spending) but just in my mind, knowing it is there, it appears, out of the most unusual places, and from some very usual places. Its like magic, or like the powers of the universe that govern us all.
Through this time,  I have also given a business away. I was really hoping to make some money off of this business I had poured my heart into for the last two years, sending out every order and preparing all of the products, with very little help from my business partner. I single handedly sent out in one month $3000 worth of orders (a lot for a small business) and simultaneously cut over 300 lavender bouquets and hung them all up to dry in my living room, while taking care of two kids by myself and working full time at another job. But, when push came to shove and my business partner and I were trying to go our separate ways, it resulted in me handing over the business for no profit, not even the money I put in. I am a generous person, I guess. Money is a trivial thing in this life, although it can make things much easier in some ways.
What I am getting at is where my heart and soul lie. I am determined to live a better life. One free of the greedy people I have once consumed my life with. If it takes gifting a business to someone so I can be free of their destructive vibrations, than that is what I will do. If it takes humbling myself and living with my parents to get my goals accomplished, (we are having a great time btw) I will do that too. If it takes giving up all forms of shopping, eating out, enjoying extra activities, I will do that to. And I will be creative in entertaining my kids, in a free mode, which they have almost become accustomed to. There is no length I will not go to accomplish my dreams; of financial independence, of a simpler life, of love and compassion and care of those around me and those I encounter, of being free of the restraints others try to put on me. I choose to be wild and free for a reason, it is a setting in which I can be me. Fully. Unappoligetically. I am going to live my life for me. And, I am going to teach my children to do the same. Don't take the guilt that others try to put on you, because they are unhappy with their lot and want you to succeed less. Live life for you, and no one else. Dont apologize for who you are or what you want. Be brave. Do what you want. Care less about what everyone around you thinks. Listen to your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong.

Our House is a Very Very Very Fine House

These are all the people that made this wall raising party possible. This house is more or less a community effort, a family effort. This small community is my family. I am so lucky to have these people in my life, supporting me and my kids. My brother and sister and their families have helped so much, taking my kids to play and helping me load wood and lift stuff and give me the wood laying around their yards. LOL And my uncle lending me his nail gun and his knowledge of building and my great friends Matt and Jenna and their family being there for me in so many ways, letting me crash at their house whenever I don't feel like driving back to mine, and being awesome cool friends... This whole post is a run on sentence, so get over it. :) 

I need to acknowledge all the people who have helped me with this project, without them, it would be hard to imagine succeeding. And, who would I celebrate with if they weren't here for the journey? And, very special friends that prefer not to be mentioned or photographed, I must also thank, for so much help, and teaching, and demonstrating, and friendship, and breaks on the water when we have been building for days... Thank you! 

 

And these two little boys, thank you for trusting your Momma to know whats best for us. Thanks for your patience through transitions and your loving energy in this exciting journey we are on together. Us three against the world, sure love you boys!  

And, just look at my butt in these pants... A christmas gift from a special friend... not the butt, the pants. 

And, none of this would be possible without my sweet parents, who have let my boys and I camp out in their basement and eat their food while we build our little house. Thanks guys!!! :):)

 

Framing Walls and Getting Strong

Why work out?

When you could build your own house. I'm getting really buff doing this. And, I guess I am pretty stubborn. It isn't always a bad thing, depending on who you ask. I have been working away on my tiny house, hans solo, and having the very best time. All day yesterday and into the night, I lost track of the day and missed at least one meal, maybe two. I had forgotten how much I loved to frame until I delved right into it, and relearned my passion for it. I have laid out four walls and build two so far. I am being very meticulous, thinking about all the little details of what I am doing. I am considering which way my front door is swinging, and trying to plan ahead for mirrors recessed into walls and stain glass windows that haven't been but yet, and privacy through the garden window I framed up to sit right next to the toilet. Hee Hee

It is so exciting to watch this all come together, and I can see how fast it is already going and almost wanting it to slow down a little. Before you know it, it will be all done, and I will be off to a new adventure. Hopefully, it is something as fulfilling and exciting as building your own home, exactly the way you want it. I know the second I get my home done, I will be planning my next big trip. I haven't figured out where it will be yet, but that's the whole reason for this lifestyle change; traveling, among other things. 

I am so fortunate to have a warm place to work on my home, with a wood stove to take the crisp out of the air. Im a lucky one. My kids have been very helpful, snapping chalk lines, pulling nails apart so I can hand nail the walls together. (I'm old school) They also hand me things and help me clean up. Today Nick watered the ginger plant that lives in the shop with my tiny house, and filled all my water bottles for me. We are a great team. Gibson gets really excited about helping. He really likes snapping the chalk line and making marks and running the drill (with my help.) And my folks have been great too, letting us camp out in their basement, feeding us and being supportive and encouraging. My Dad has been letting me use a lot of his tools and it makes the job a lot easier to use the right ones for the job. 

I look forward to building up all the walls and getting the siding and roof on within the next week or two. Im hoping while the kidos are gone for the holidays I can crank this thing out and get it done, or at least most of the way. 

Check back for more progress, and if you are local and have any wood around you aren't going to use, get a hold of me, Ill come get it and give it a good home. Thanks!

Getting off the Ground

I hit the ground running this holiday weekend and lucked out for everything to fall perfectly into place on my little house project. There were a series of events that made me think twice about my approach to beginning my project. First of all, what I had started with was a pain in my ass. I have come to understand over the years that when something isn't flowing, and isn't coming easily or smooth per say, that it most likely isn't the path you should be on. So, I chose to listen. And pause. And observe the words of wisdom that were coming to me from some direct sources and some surprise sources. My Dad said, I don't think you should do it that way. And I said, alright Dad, I hear you. Then I had a pleasant encounter with a nice man that helped his daughter build a tiny house for his ex-wife (caring and open-minded individual right there) and he was a retired electrical engineer from Boeing and he told me that 60% of a houses heat loss is thru the walls and ceiling.
My project began with me screwing some quarter inch painted plywood to the bottom of my trailer, to sandwich it with insulation and the subfloor. Now, I am not doing that. I am either going to spray insulate it, or put up some blue sheets of insulation later. The key word is later. It feels good not to think about it right now.
So, thats what I am going to do. My moto with this project, and with life really, has been to think far enough ahead until it doesn't feel positive anymore, and to stop before I get to that point. Anything that stresses me out, or makes me feel negative emotion, I don't delve into just yet. Because, I know there will be an appropriate time and place to do it, and it must not be right then.
In result of this new break thru, I have been working away at the subfloor the last two days and have gotten three boards down with the help of a new a very kind special friend I have been blessed to connected with. He has started me off on the right foot, I couldn't imagine a better person to make sure I'm doing it right. His presence, energy and knowledge is just what my little project needed, and maybe what I needed too. ;)
I am going to keep chugging away at this subfloor. It feels amazing to be moving forward and seeing some progress!!!
In the pictures you can see my Dad lifting up my trailer with the forklift so I could remove some of the boards I had already applied. Once I got those off, he lowered it back down for me so I could cover the thing in Tyvek and begin screwing on the subfloor. I used 3/4 inch sheathing and screwed it in with some really awesome fasteners. (Again glad someone great was there to help me pick out the right ones) Send me your happy energy so I can continue to have positive happenings and thoughts towards this project. And have the pleasure of working with more amazing people, or just more with the amazing people I have already met. Someone is looking out for me and my boys, and I'm never sure who, call it God, a guardian angel, spirits that wish me well, I don't know. But, I'll take it.

While I was pre drilling some holes today, my Dad offered me some drill bits that belonged to my late little brother. He and I both know how special they are. I was trying to be super careful, as careful as you can be drilling into steel. And, I said to the drill bit, don't you break you little fudger (just incase my Mother reads this) and don't ya know the very next hole it broke off in. I laughed and laughed. I love when it is so very clear when my little brother is trying to mess with me. And he can still do things to make me laugh so hard. I left it there in that hole so he can be a part of my house, and my journey. I know if he was around he would be there to help me work on this thing... lift heavy stuff for me, instal some sick speakers in the walls for me, and do anything he could to help out his sis. I think of you and miss you every day brother. <3<3<3
Thanks for reading. :)

Round Two for Me

Some of you don't know about my early years, when I went to University out in Utah at Brigham Young. I was married at 19 to someone I met in the condos I lived in. We heard about this self help program from some family, and decided to apply a few months after we were married. Luckily I had stellar credit as a 19 year old and we were accepted right away and started building a home within the year. There were seven families in our group and we all helped each other. We built one house at a time, to completion and then moved onto the next. We were all in the same rural neighborhood on Utah Lake which was across from Provo, in the town of Saratoga Springs. 

Each house had a different floor plan, there might have been two the same. The floor plan we chose had a big open space and lots of windows with nice views. We had no trouble agreeing on a plan. We were both drawn to the same one. We chose the plot of land with a nice view and next to a few homes that were already built. 

Part of the program was to work on the house for 30 hours a week. And we were both working full time jobs as well. No babies yet. We went to bed dog tired every night. We would drive 30 minutes one way to work on the house 3 days a week and all weekend. Grandpa Dick (Pictured below) would come 45 minutes from Salt Lake City to come build with us one day in the week and every Saturday without fail. He was our biggest support. 

We had a foreman that was a student at BYU to ask questions to, but for the most part we were on our own. There was a lot of discussion on the proper way to do things. Grandpa and I would bicker back and forth for a few minutes and usually come to the best solution for any problem we faced. We worked so well together. I got really buff. And I could frame circles around most of the men, an some happened to do that for a living.  Reading plans came easily to me, and I loved to frame. Give me that nail gun and get out of the way. 

I also particularly enjoyed roofing. I contributed to every single roof. Even the Mexican families roof, despite the fact that they had all their family come out and do it in one day. It was very satisfying to put down the subfloor. It was a clean slate every time. Once it was done, the layout and framing began. Snapping chalk lines, measuring where the interior walls went. Reminiscing about building our house reminds me how much I really loved it! I learned so much. Not many people can say they owned a house at 20. And not many people can say they built seven houses by the time they were 21. It took us a year and a half to build those 7 houses. 

From start to finish, we knocked the pins off the foundation, then tarred it. We built up the load bearing wall in the basement, then put on the joists. Next came the subfloor, exterior walls and sheathing. Somewhere after that we did trusses, interior walls and sheathing on the roof. Then we would roof the damn thing. We did all the painting, finished carpentry, and rough plumbing. As well as yard work with the skid steer and sprinkler systems. I am efficient in all of these things. 

We did not do sheetrock, or finished plumbing or electrical. And our own home we had to paint twice. There was a heater left on with the wrong gasoline in it, and created black smoke residue all over our house. We had to scrub it down and repaint. That sucked. For homes down there in the dryer climate, stucco is popular for the exterior. We also did rock on the exterior of every house. Our home was done in the winter. That was a challenge for me to get that rock to stick! You have to have the mixture just right. 

Roofing those houses was either blasted hot, and the shingles would tear and melt all over the place and burn your hands and knees if you weren't careful. Or, in the extreme cold you could barely cut them or they would just break. And the shingles seamed so much heavier in the freezing cold. We built on that house rain or shine, snow or 100 degree weather. And if you have spent any time in Utah its only either or. ;)

And my partner in crime stayed my partner thru all the house building. The people who ran the program told us that if your marriage could survive this experience it could weather any storm. They were partly correct. We were one of two young couples who did the program when we did. The other couple divorced during, endured till the end, and sold the house immediately making $30,000 each. We may not have stayed together long term, but we sure became better people from this experience. At least I know I did. We stayed in our home for 5+ years, brought both of our babies home from the hospital to this home we built, and had countless happy memories within the walls that we raised. It is a phase of my life I can look back on and smile, and shake my head because we survived it. It was one of the most challenging experiences, physically, mentally and emotionally. Literal blood sweat and tears every day. All worth it. 

Now, it will be my second time around. But this time, I am going at it solo. I have had a lot of support so far. And love. And help. But, the brunt of the work and the worry I take on my shoulders. And as you now can see, my shoulders are broad and strong. And I'll be just fine. 

I have been collecting like a mad woman, and preparing to have all my ducks in a row to go full throttle. Im still puttering along making sure I start my foundation piece right. Bought my insulation today. Im ready for some help with a forklift to hoist my trailer on end and start securing the boards I've painted. All in due time. Pictures to come as always. Thanks for reading. Peace out.