The Field

Figuring out card #3

Preface: I get deep here. If you are going to begin reading this, commit to reading to the end. If you are around chaos, step away. Go outside. Ground yourself, literally sit on the ground if you need to, to get connected to source. If it is internal chaos, meditate for a few minutes before reading, please. What I share with you here is not light, and should only be read if you have an open heart. 

The birds are chirping loud today, and the grass smells like fresh cucumbers, its a new day, and my perspective on the world is renewed. I experienced a paradigm shift today. My transformation has made a sharp right turn and my clarity and view of things are clear as crystal, so clear that what I am looking through doesn’t even exist. One week ago last night, I shared some space with the most special girl friend I have ever had. She didn’t realize it, but she was an instrument, holding a field for me to heal myself before committing my life and the remainder of my existence on this earthly plain to the man that I resonate with in every way. Our complete harmony sends peaceful waves in every direction outwards. We have the kind of love you only dream about and hear of in fairy tales. My dear friend and I enjoyed a quick 15 minute tarot card reading session, in which I drew three cards. The first card is my blockage. The second is the way in which my blockage gets released. The third card is the result of the first two being resolved. We enjoyed a higher level of consciousness, the way we have become accustomed to when in each others presence. After my card reading was done she lead me downstairs where our other halves were kneeling on the floor together waiting. And I said yes to the invitation of companionship that was extended by the man I had been searching for for what seemed like centuries. We celebrated together, and laughed a lot. One week to the day we embarked on an adventure together, the four of us. Before our adventure the cards made another appearance. The gentlemen had their turn to feel what the universe had to tell them, and we all held a space for healing for each other. In the evening after our boating outing my lovely friend did some reiki on my companion. And throughout this day, I am continually thinking about what my cards meant for me, a week earlier. My first card was a storytelling card. This was my blockage. I have been writing, a lot. About my life. About my transformation. But, suddenly about a week or two ago, I stopped. I wasn’t sure I was going in the right direction with what I was writing. So, I stopped. My second card was medicine woman. What this meant I did not know. And, this was the way in which I was to clear my blockage, so it was imperative for me to figure it out. I set the intention when the cards turned up, that I was going to crack this code, and figure out how healing was related to my writing. As we returned home from our friends house last night, pretty late in the evening, we had a little time to ourselves during the evening routine, and I felt called to pick up one of the four books we kept on the nightstand in which we read from often. The one I pulled out we had not read from in several months. I opened it up at random and started to read. The specific part I read didn’t really resonate with either of us in the moment, and I read a little farther looking for what it was we were supposed to hear from this book at this time. We stayed up way too late, and because we were delirious with exhaustion, we over analyzed and over thought some words in the moment and were for the very first time, not in complete harmony with each other. Still filling the space with I love yous and apologies for misunderstandings we drifted off to sleep left with our own thoughts. After waking in the morning, we began our resolve, We started the journey back to the place of unconditional love and complete embrace that we had spent all of our previous time in, since meeting. I read him a love letter that I had been working on. We spoke of how we each felt and why we arrived at that place of feeling. We noticed patterns and let go of all expectation. As our conversation blossomed, so did our understanding of what we are meant to do here together. We have felt an underlying purpose since the second we laid eyes on each other. We have noticed the people around us starting to change. There is a pull taking place in our circles of friends, a change in the air. Some are realizing love, where before there was fear. Some are figuring out what they want. Others are facing their dark interiors with intentions of change and healing. There is something miraculous happening around us. We have been reading of healing with love. Love being the chief tool in the power and ability to heal oneself. Love can heal all wounds. And it makes sense to me that the purest most inspired choosing of love can create the quickest purest healing. If love can heal all wounds, that the strongest love can heal the deepest wounds. And allow me if you will to draw another conclusion for your understanding of wounds, that all wounds are connected a physically manifested appearance directly relative to a mental and or spiritual cavern. Spoken more simply, our physical pain relates to our emotional well being, always. Chew on that for a minute. We attract into our experience what we feel resonates with our emotions. If we feel that we have no control, we are attracting situations in which we have no control. To the most possible extreme emotionally and physically. When we are in the depths of despair in the way that we feel, our physical existence reflects that. Lacking a feeling of control for so long that it is sewn into the makeup of your DNA, it can possibly result in the most extreme of paralysis physically, if we succumb to those feelings. We have all felt this way, large or small, whether we have made the connection yet or not. But, if the focus is on what we have to be thankful for, that is what grows. When you find love so pure that thought of being without the person that makes you feel that way, if for only one second, makes you dread that second ever taking place. So, you devote your lives to each other. And you seek truth in what you were brought together to accomplish. You crack the code together, as a team. Bouncing ideas off each other like a sounding board, recalling experiences that come into your mind, and sentences you read and feelings you felt and people who effected you until you reach a peak of enlightenment because it is all out of love. Unconditional love. And love surrounds you every moment, so strong that those around you are pulled towards change because you are offering them a safe place to heal. And the sentence that you read in the book last night comes to you again. It is the healer that is sick. The healer that is sick. Think on that for a moment. Usually the healer heals the sick, or so I have understood it in the past. “Ultimately, remember that the healer is the one who was sick, and the practitioner is only holding a field to allow the healer to accelerate their own healing process.” Jesus didn’t heal the sick, he created a field of love for those around him to heal themselves. He held a field, and those who were sick made the choice to heal, and through his love, they found their way. Love can heal all wounds. Love. Not fear. Choose love. Be love. Be it all on your own. Then, when you find someone you are in complete harmony with, that you can’t imagine spending a second of this life without, love each other, unconditionally. Without expectation. And together create a field of healing for one another. And then bring your love out into the world so that others can feel it. Create that field for others to choose their healing. It is time. It is time for us all to stop looking outside of ourselves for the solutions to our problems. The answers are all within you. Surround yourselves with love, and then choose to heal yourselves. There are healers that walk among us, but with a deeper understanding, you can know that we are all healers. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and become a unified blended being, seeing all. And now, I can write. And the third card will remain a mystery to you for now, because that is not part of this story. Surround yourselves with love. Be love. See love, and it will quickly appear all around you. If you have arrived there, be the field for those around you. Just be, and love, no more action is needed. As you finish reading this, check in with yourself.  Be gentle with the areas in which you need to grow, but acknowledge them. Set an intention for healing, and surround yourselves with love. 

LOVE

Priorities in Life

As I have said before on my blog, this is all for these two right here. A better life for them. A better childhood. A better way of going through the world than before this journey began. As I was figuring out my path was not as I sensed it should be, I began to change my life. It was over a year ago I decided to change my vibrations, my direction and my results. I jumped head first into counseling to try and right some patterns that I had been seeing in my life. To better understand who I am and where I have come from. Counseling turning into changes, and calming assurances that I was headed in the right direction. The things in my life that were right started to get more right, and the things in my life that were wrong started to get more wrong. A friend told me about saturn return, it had been starting for me about 10 months before I turned 30. Look it up, its interesting. If your life isn't on the right path, you are pulled from the universe, the tide, the moon, the sun, those around you, and who knows what else. You are pulled onto the right path in life. If you fight it, it can be another 30 years before the planets align the same way again, and you feel that pull. I felt it strong. Towards the end of my experience with a mentor helping me work through my self worth, my childhood influence and my deep rooted desire to share my life with someone who really truly sees me for exactly the person I am, and who I have the potential to become - I started to make changes in my life. I started to make big changes. I began a long excruciating, sad and upsetting break up with a man I promised to marry. I quit the job where I made awesome money, had a great time, loved the people around me, but wasn't growing from anymore. I began developing a relationship with my boys father, who I had been married to for 7 years, and divorced from for almost 5. He simultaneously decided to move 1600 miles closer to his kids. I made the decision to build a tiny house. I walked in off the street to an awesome private school and that resulted in their enrollment very quickly and a whole new network of people in our lives. I chose to begin the journey of figuring out what I want, and to begin attracting that. 

We made a lot of changes, very quickly. I turned 30, began work on my tiny home shortly after. We became surrounded by wonderful loving kind family and friends, a lot of whom we have known less than a year, and feel as intricately a part of our lives as friends we have known a long time. My children are learning and growing an exponential amount because of their new environment of love and acceptance. They love their school. They love having their Dad and his loving girlfriend close. They love more and more every day, because their Mom is happy and on the right path. They see me living my life in alignment with my own happiness. They see me creating a lifes work, and a passion for the things I am doing in my life, and the people I encounter. They learn from that. They absorb it like a sponge. The vibration around them is higher than it has ever been, and I see their vibrations changing to, and lifting up. 

I feel seen. I feel loved. I can now see the beauty in myself and I can more fully love myself when I do what feeds my soul, and spend my time helping others because there is no drama or unease at home. Everything is in alignment, and the feeling is euphoric. Two days ago there was a fund raising event for the kids school, five acre. All of the parents and teachers put a lot of work into that even to raise money for our kids to enjoy a top notch education. It had been quite a build up. We were at it for weeks collecting donations, planning, planning and more planning. And then came the event. It was beautiful. It was fun. There were so many smiles I thought it possible for peoples faces to break. There were so many wonderful familiar faces. So many hugs. So much happiness in the air, most especially for the children. 

What was so beautiful about it for me, was unity. Everyone coming together for a beautiful cause; the children. Its all for the children. My children's Dad came, and his girlfriend (who we all love to pieces) and it was a magical experience. I gave thanks that day many times over. The kids ran around and found their Dad, found me, found Carrie and found Jason and we all came together more than once and rejoiced in the happiness of those boys. They were flying free. Being loved from all angles. There was no judgement no animosity no upset no anger no selfishness no negative in sight. I am blessed beyond words. This journey has taught me so many things. But, one very important thing is what the little people who follow you around all day are learning from you. 

I have raised my children with a goal in mind, with a hope, that they will never have to heal from their childhood. That they are surrounded by so much love, that they have no where to go but up. They can be examples to the kids around them. They can choose to live their life exactly as they choose because there is no drama to distract them. Two days ago, everything came together. Those boys are the future of this world. All of our children are. And if they can feel love, pure, free, wild untethered love - the possibilities for them are without boundaries. 

Please don't underestimate the power of love. Love can heal all wounds. Love can bring two people that could no longer stay married to one another together to raise the beautiful children they once created in love. Love brings those new partners in that can see the whole picture and encourage everyone to work as a team, for one cause. Love can bring a friends daughter back into their life after a year of absence. Love is a most powerful tool. A new friend taught me a  thought the other day that keeps coming back to me, "Good always wins over evil." Endure whatever your current state may be, but push forward in love. See the love around you, acknowledge it, welcome it, share gratitude and it will become more abundant. It is all forward moving from here. Love surrounds us, welcome it in. <3