I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!

Hiatus complete. Married, check. Happy, double check. Kids remain top priority, check. Regained momentum on tiny home project, 5/8th check. Passion for growth and continual learning, BIG ASS CHECK.

Since April, I have accomplished so much, it would be ridiculous to try and summarize. I feel like my growth as a person has exponentially rocketed forward, and it is now my main "job." Law of attraction on steroids would be an understatement. We are bordering on destiny here people. Too much information? Perhaps. But, that's okay. Truth above all else. When there is truth, there can be love.

Why do I preface this post so? It is important to know how we got here. My computer is resting on my sleeping dog nestled between my legs in the spare bed in the beautiful home I live in with my husband and two boys. Groom, my blood hound/mastiff rescue, who came to us out camping by the coast this summer, is a prime example of the beauty that is my life now. He is the most loyal dog I can possibly imagine. We spent all day together, riding to drop the kids off at school, running some errands, running on the beach, taking a nap ... and it is so easy to love him unconditionally, because he isn't complicated. I know what he needs. Food, water, love, exercise, car rides, opportunities to lean on trees/ bushes/ fire hydrants and constant companionship. And he has also come to know what I need. In short, to be leaned on with all 100 pounds of his body weight, snuggled, raced out of the car and other random idiosyncrasies. Why is loving a human so much more complicated?

It has been 2100 years now we have been in the Picean Era, one where religion and war were predominant, and men were in so many ways "more" than woman, frankly put. Now, as we transition into the age of Aquarian, the woman start to come out of the woodworks. Spirituality, and inner growth become more popular than religion, and there is more acceptance and love flowing around. The sun starts to shine again and people feel empowered, and start to align with hope. I have noticed many woman around me begin to realize their power, their own strengths and abilities. We are all changing and evolving, wanting more than to stay at home raising our children, cooking dinner, cleaning, tending the garden, or simply working those jobs we are over qualified for on account of one commitment or another.

Love becomes more important than ever. Most notably loving ones self. The best judge of self love is how we love others. When we love ourselves properly, we are able to give love properly as well. As the women in our lives step into their power, and realize who they are, what a beautiful gift they are to this world - remember it is not instant ingredients into a perfectly risen loaf of bread. Sometimes, some of the ingredients are off - old, stale, sour, discolored, pulled out from the back of the cupboard. We all need to find our place in this new world, that evolves right before our eyes. Leaving behind our partners won't make it easier for us to take our rightful place. When the loaf doesn't rise, do we just throw the mixer away when all the ingredients are bad? They may need reworking, relearning, and more love than ever - but holy hell - don't throw the damn mixer away, it has nothing to do with the bread rising!

Jesus said to forgive 70 times 7 ... that is a lot of times! Hope. We can embrace hope as we come to know who we are again. As he walked our earth, teaching above all - love - he showed it perfectly to all those around him. He gives love to everyone unconditionally, just like some of us do to our dogs, never expecting anything in return. Even if you aren't religious there are many masters out there that teach us how to love. Mother Theresa was so beautiful because she loved everyone, completely, without any judgement or expectation or promise of returned sentiment. If we loved ourselves this way, we could offer it to those around us as well. What a beautiful earth is would become. The face  who steps into office is irrelevant because this nation could be so busy loving ourselves and our neighbors at such an intimate level that we wouldn't bother with the hierarchy that attempts to control us. If our time was spent forgiving 70 times 7, love would trickle out into the community, then the state, then the nation, and government would lose its reasons to control.

Control only works on those who don't forgive, who pay into the idea of being controlled. It is a fear based action, on both ends. A nation filled with love and hope wouldn't have reason to fear. How are we contributing to our nations vibration? It all starts at home. No, it all starts within. Love yourself. Love your family members. Love your neighbors. Love the stranger you cross paths with. Love multiplies like forgiveness. Where you forgive, there is no fear and therefor no separation. While we are all working on loving ourselves again, remember to forgive instead of to separate yourself. We don't have to do this alone. We don't have to control anyone. Where there is hope and love, there is no room for fear.

It comes right down to you. Me and you. Specifically what comes out of your mouth. The words you utter. They have such power. They can be used to build walls between you and whoever you speak to.   They can be used to build someone up, make them feel loved, special, accepted, supported. My Grandma always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'll be spending my time speaking hope, love and forgiveness into this world. First into myself. And to those I encounter.

Embarking on building this tiny house, turned into building my own personal house, my body, spirit, soul and everything that makes me who I am. I am currently laying my wood floor, passed along to me by a wonderful friend. (THANK YOU!) Still working on my foundation here, it may not be perfect, but I forgive myself along the way, and know that it is put together with a lot of love. <3

The Roof is on Fire

In moments of waiting, I have been pressing forward. As far as my house goes, I have been drilling holes in my framing for the electrical and water tubes to go thru. I was filling my time with extra odd jobs to make some extra money to buy lumber. I am so close! Not much lumber left to acquire, just the 2x6s for the roof, some sheathing for the roof, and then the metal roofing. But, I was stuck in a holding pattern... until I had a very kind generous friend donate $27 to my cause. I had all but forgotten about my Go Fund Me link, as I have not really been pushing it, just having it there "in case." This same kind generous friend then went to some of his kind generous friends and asked them to donate $27. And I am sitting here typing this post feeling so grateful for kind people in the world. I was able to go buy all the lumber for my roof today and got 5 rafters notched out and installed, even though I am sicker than a dog. Thank you to those people who donated to this tiny house adventure, we are grateful beyond measure, and were pretty speechless than we didnt even know 11/13 of them that donated. Thank you!!!!
I believe in karma. I teach my children about karma, and they know it well. Depending on how you believe, karma can be instant. I believe it is more often then not, fairly quick. Throughout this entire journey, I have felt so blessed by the people we have encountered, and the help we have received and the love that those around us have shown. This kind dear friend of mine also reminded me of something I was forgetting. I had forgotten my goal in all of this. Its obvious I am doing this as a place to live, and a home for my children, and no financial burdens of a typical home, but all the wonderful benefits of one.... but beyond all of those reasons is a deeper reason that I have held in my heart and not really shared. I seek to free myself up, to give more of myself. As I have been on my own personal journey, I have realized that I feel most happy when I am giving. I am trying pretty hard to give too much right now, and have to keep myself in check constantly. Reminding myself that this goal will get me there. I give so much I run myself into the ground.
It is so important to have balance. Cant you tell I am a Libra?? ha! I seek to balance taking care of myself with giving of myself. When I get this house done, I want to give all I can. I want to give advice. I want to teach people things. I want to give service. I want to make good food and share it. Have any of you readers had my weekend soup? Those close to me know what I mean... It has become a small challenge of mine to see how many people I can share my weekend soup with. I travel with my soup pot every weekend (it has been cold enough here that is stays good in my car) and I see how many people I can feed off of that one pot of soup. Last weekend was 9+ people. I make it on Wednesday and take it with me to work/friends/projects/mastermind meetings/house building/parties all weekend until its gone. Its good hearty soup, with brown rice, beans, vegetables, turkey stock, lentils and whatever else I can find in my Moms fridge to put in it.
When our home is complete: I want to travel to foreign countries and open peoples minds to love. I want to take my kids traveling and open their eyes to the way other people live, and think. I want to build houses in Mexico, and teach children in Africa and make jewelry on beaches all over the world and give it away just to make someone's day. I want to go to India and see what's so cool over there! My intentions are to give as much as I can, and then more. I want to help people heal, physically, emotionally and in any other way they may need to. I want to continually write, because you never know how your words may influence someone.
I want to ask you, as the reader to take just a moment and focus on your heart space. Do you know where that is? It is the dead center of your chest. Take just a moment and think of something you love the most in the world. Feel the love for that person or object or experience right there in you heart space. Concentrate on it. Feel it grow. Harness it. Feel it build in intensity and heat.... Now send it away to someone you love. Send it to someone you think might need a little boost. No matter how near or far they are from you, imagine them receiving it. Distance and space don't hinder this one bit. You have given something very powerful. We don't have to have a lot to give. It's amazing how $27 can change someone's day, or week or year. I challenge you all to give of yourselves. If you can't give a meal to someone that is hungry, or a ride to a hitchhiker, or a hug for someone who is having a hard day, then get into your heart space and send some love... to anyone. And then, watch it come back around to you.

Keeping on Task

My Journey has taught me so far...

How to scrape every penny out of every crevice in my life, and simultaneously be as generous as I can possibly be. As I embarked on this journey, I planned out everything pretty well, and had enough money saved up to make it happen, for the most part. I knew there were things I hadn't yet bought, like lumber, which I would need to figure out a way to get. I think there are so many people out there that are afraid to talk about money. Well, I am not one of them. This whole journey has been one of hard work, self discovery, and budgeting and magnetism. I can not tell you the number of times I have had not one dollar available to spend and somehow everything worked out for myself and my kids. Granted, I will be bringing my parents gifts of food for the next year + to make up for all the food we have eaten while we have been living here, only a month or two, but still! And my kids go to a private school, which I am behind on paying for (working on it), and I am building a house without being in debt... its magic, I swear! Every spare dollar I get, I go buy a 2x6 or a 4x4 with... Ha! I have used a lot of reclaimed lumber, and everything I have purchased for my house it used, for the most part. Used windows, all of them! Used sinks, used flooring, used tile, used doors, used wiring and eventually switches and light fixtures and used material from traveling to tile the bathroom. Im going to make my own toilet!!
One of the coolest things that happened was in the first few weeks of this journey, when I found a trailer distributor, and the trailer I wanted. I made a down payment, knowing that I would need to come up with like $6000 on the fly in like 6 weeks time. I made the deposit having no idea how I would make the rest of the money. And, when they called and said the trailer was ready for pick up, I had to have the rest! Well, somehow, I scraped up every penny I needed, just in the knick of time. I even succeeded with an ex demanding money from me just to be mean, and I paid it to him, just to be nice.
I have learned so much about money from this experience, and the power of positive thinking. I have noticed when I focus on the lack of money that I have, I end up having no money. But, when I focus on having money and just operate like its there (not over spending) but just in my mind, knowing it is there, it appears, out of the most unusual places, and from some very usual places. Its like magic, or like the powers of the universe that govern us all.
Through this time,  I have also given a business away. I was really hoping to make some money off of this business I had poured my heart into for the last two years, sending out every order and preparing all of the products, with very little help from my business partner. I single handedly sent out in one month $3000 worth of orders (a lot for a small business) and simultaneously cut over 300 lavender bouquets and hung them all up to dry in my living room, while taking care of two kids by myself and working full time at another job. But, when push came to shove and my business partner and I were trying to go our separate ways, it resulted in me handing over the business for no profit, not even the money I put in. I am a generous person, I guess. Money is a trivial thing in this life, although it can make things much easier in some ways.
What I am getting at is where my heart and soul lie. I am determined to live a better life. One free of the greedy people I have once consumed my life with. If it takes gifting a business to someone so I can be free of their destructive vibrations, than that is what I will do. If it takes humbling myself and living with my parents to get my goals accomplished, (we are having a great time btw) I will do that too. If it takes giving up all forms of shopping, eating out, enjoying extra activities, I will do that to. And I will be creative in entertaining my kids, in a free mode, which they have almost become accustomed to. There is no length I will not go to accomplish my dreams; of financial independence, of a simpler life, of love and compassion and care of those around me and those I encounter, of being free of the restraints others try to put on me. I choose to be wild and free for a reason, it is a setting in which I can be me. Fully. Unappoligetically. I am going to live my life for me. And, I am going to teach my children to do the same. Don't take the guilt that others try to put on you, because they are unhappy with their lot and want you to succeed less. Live life for you, and no one else. Dont apologize for who you are or what you want. Be brave. Do what you want. Care less about what everyone around you thinks. Listen to your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong.

Our House is a Very Very Very Fine House

These are all the people that made this wall raising party possible. This house is more or less a community effort, a family effort. This small community is my family. I am so lucky to have these people in my life, supporting me and my kids. My brother and sister and their families have helped so much, taking my kids to play and helping me load wood and lift stuff and give me the wood laying around their yards. LOL And my uncle lending me his nail gun and his knowledge of building and my great friends Matt and Jenna and their family being there for me in so many ways, letting me crash at their house whenever I don't feel like driving back to mine, and being awesome cool friends... This whole post is a run on sentence, so get over it. :) 

I need to acknowledge all the people who have helped me with this project, without them, it would be hard to imagine succeeding. And, who would I celebrate with if they weren't here for the journey? And, very special friends that prefer not to be mentioned or photographed, I must also thank, for so much help, and teaching, and demonstrating, and friendship, and breaks on the water when we have been building for days... Thank you! 

 

And these two little boys, thank you for trusting your Momma to know whats best for us. Thanks for your patience through transitions and your loving energy in this exciting journey we are on together. Us three against the world, sure love you boys!  

And, just look at my butt in these pants... A christmas gift from a special friend... not the butt, the pants. 

And, none of this would be possible without my sweet parents, who have let my boys and I camp out in their basement and eat their food while we build our little house. Thanks guys!!! :):)

 

Getting Underway

We are getting started people. I am using this quarter inch ply wood to line the bottom of my trailer to hold up my insulation and water tubes... and it must be painted to protect it from the elements. So, here we are painting. Nick and Gibson both helped out, they are my 4 and 8 year old sons. Gibson used the paint brush to gob paint on the knots, and Nick and I rolled. It was a very enjoyable after dinner activity. And in the background you see all of the windows we have acquired for our tiny house build. A LOT of windows. I think our home will be primarily windows. I hope our neighbors are okay with nudity. LOL Or, I guess we can make some curtains.
I was in the process of planning where my windows would go in my house and ended up getting bored and parascoping. Do any of you know what that is? It is rather interesting. You basically allow people to watch what you are doing. I was talking about the tiny house for a while, then I made some earrings, and made some new friends.
I must admit... While I have this looming project I have been having fun at every opportunity! I must buckle down and build this house!!
Here is a picture of what I did on my Saturday night instead of building my house......

I attended a Scotch dinner and then went and partied with my friend in Seattle...in my defense, it was his birthday! Anyway, Ive got to get to the grind. The more excited I get about it, the easier it is to put my social life aside and build. But, because of the way I plan to build this house, my social life is somewhat important. I need to network and talk to others that have built things, and discuss the best possible way to do what I am doing. There are so many ways to build a tiny house. My take is to gather as many useful things around the community that I can, and make due with that and whatever else I can find from the Habitat store and the Around again Store... So far I am doing quite well! 

As always I am very grateful to those that offer help and supplies and emotional support! And morning snuggles. ;) My friend and family have been tremendous so far, and I know it will only get better the deeper we get into this project. 

I am keeping my sites on the finished product. And the ability to go and travel and have a home base. And a place to call our own. And a lifestyle that fits with our being. I can't wait!! In the meantime, we are having a blast camped out in my parents basement. Send us good energy as you read this. And if you live far away, I want to come visit you, as soon as this house is built. Experiences instead of things, thats what Im teaching my boys. 

And so it begins! 

Above, you see my first tiny house purchase. I spent $1.50 at the local thrift store on these beautiful, colorful tiles. They are the epitome of my style and my energy. I decided recently when I died my hair rainbow, that rainbow was my favorite color. I always adopted my grandmas favorite color, which was green. I love green. In HS my favorite colors were bright orange and lime green. And today, I don't really love one color more than another. So, my favorite color is rainbow. My Dad keeps busting my chaps, checking in with me on my dating preferences. He thinks I am going to come out as lesbian one of these days. I think its funny. Maybe some day I will bring a girl home to meet him, just for shits and giggles. HAHA! But for now, I like the men... 

I have been working away thinning down my things. I have my best dear friend selling some of my furniture for me. I have gone thru a lot of my clothes and the stuff I have left in my closet is flowing, comfortable and bright colored! Sounds about right. 

I will be going thru my kids clothes and toys soon and we will be having a booth at the kids sale at their school, Five Acre in Sequim on the 17th of October. 

It feels so amazing to downsize. I feel so light and free already. I am enjoying my journey immensely, and it has only just begun. My wonderful friends and family are surrounding me with support and lovely kind words. I feel so fortunate and grateful to be in this community and to have so many resourceful loving people around me. If you are reading this, and sending me loving thoughts, thank you. There is no limit to what you can do, especially when your energy and thoughts are positive. Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. Please join me on my journey of awareness, self discovery and getting what you want in your own life, if you feel inspired to. I would love to see and hear about your paths. We learn a lot from each other in this life, so I invite you to teach me something if you choose. Leave a comment.